5 Vintage Medicines that Prove Doctors Hated Children

It used to be that children were supposed to be seen and not heard. Obviously, the doctors of yore really subscribed to that. These vintage medicines prove that doctors felt the only good child was an unconscious one.

Number 5 - Cocaine Toothache Drops

This ad, published in 1885, is for cocaine toothache drops, commonly used for teething children. Nowadays, all we have is Orajel...






Number 4 - Victor Infant's Relief

Introduced in 1910, this "medicine" claims to be for looseness of bowel. It contains Cannabis indica, nitre extract, and chloroform. You ingest it. Chloroform. For your kids.








Number 3 - Stickney and Poor's Pure Paregoric

This product, introduced around 1899, contains alcohol (46%, making it 92 proof) and opium. It has a dosage chart for children as young as five days old. Use of this product and products like it contributed to infant mortality rates. The babies had no hunger pains and they would die from malnutrition. It was called "The Poor Baby's Nurse."


Number 2 - Bayer's Heroin Syrup

The headline reads, "The cough disappears." Running between 1910 and 1912 in Spanish newspapers, these advertisements urged parents to dose children suffering from coughs, colds, and "irritation." So, basically, if your kid is being an asshole, give them some heroin!







Number 1 - Blatz Beer

Published in 1916, this ad espoused the benefits of malt to a breastfeeding baby. "The malt in the beer supplies nourishing qualities that are essential at this time and the hops act as an appetizing, stimulating, tonic." For real. They wanted moms to get drunk and breastfeed their babies.