My Horrible Time at Sears

Sears customers and those looking to purchase jewelry, lend me your ears(eyes?)!! It's story time! Bear with me it's kind of long, but it may make you think twice before shopping at Sears! Unfortunately, I don't remember any employee names to commend the few helpful employees, but it's the Altamonte Springs, Florida location. 

On 12/24/16, my fiancee went to four different jewelry stores to find the perfect engagement ring. He finally found it at the Sears jewelry counter. Now, one would think with it being Christmas Eve (a big shopping day), most stores would be fully staffed. This was not the case, there being one very rude employee behind the jewelry counter. My fiancee waited 20mins with our 2-year old daughter before he was helped. By the time the transaction was almost to a close, he had a very upset toddler on his hands. Hence the reason he did not provide a phone number or email address at the time of purchase. He also used cash, making it even more difficult to locate the purchase later on. He didn't purchase the warranty (worried I wouldn't like the ring), but was informed he had 30days to do so. I loved the ring and was very careful with it, but I hadn't even been wearing it for 2weeks when I discovered 2 of the white diamonds missing! We looked for the receipt for two days, he had hidden it somewhere, but could not find it. I had always heard good things about Sears customer service, so I wasn't too terribly worried. 

On 01/15/16, I loaded my daughter up in the car and we went to the mall to activate the warranty and have the ring fixed, arriving around 3pm. Once again, there was only one person behind the counter. When we got there, she was helping another woman, so we patiently waited at least 15mins before even being acknowledged. The customer was indecisive and told the employee to go ahead and help me while she decided. So, she asks me what she can help me with and I explain the situation. She tells me she can't help me and has to call a manager. I will say, she was very polite for the most part, just not able to help with the situation. So, she gets on the intercom and says, "Code 3 to Jewelry." 

And we wait, and wait, and wait. Another 10mins have gone by and I'm starting to get irritated at this point. Probably seeing this, she gets on the intercom again, "Code 3 to Jewelry." And we wait again, at least another 10mins, when I hear, "Code 3 to Clothing." Now I'm really getting mad and I blurt out, "Not like that's going to f***ing work!" The employee apologized and got on the intercom for a 3rd time with another code 3. Keep in mind, I've been here with a 2-year old for damn near 45mins already and haven't really been helped, at all. I finally see what looks like a manager walking quickly in our direction, but he appears to be going towards clothing. I look at the jewelry lady, visibly angry, and she flags him down, bless her. The first thing this guy says to me? "I don't know anything about jewelry, but I'll see what I can do." He asks me for a phone number to look up the sale and goes to 3 DIFFERENT COMPUTERS, claiming that not one works, then says he's going he's going to call someone to help. Me: "Are you actually going to call someone, or just get on the intercom? Cuz I've already been here for 45mins." Him: "I'm going to actually call someone." Then, this asshole gets on the intercom!! He asks for someone from blahblah department to call HIM and he gets back on a computer. Pissed, my daughter and I start walking around the counter, looking at the jewelry. Another 10mins passes, when I see this dude walking away very quickly. So, I holler at him, ask him where he's going. This man looked me dead in the face and lied to me, "I promise, I'll be back in 10mins, ma'am!" I waited 20 and he never showed. 

My daughter and I walk up to the jewelry lady and I give her my phone number and tell her to have him call me when he shows back up, we're going to the food court. At this point, I've been there for an hour and 20mins, give or take, it's around 4:30.

 We get our food and eat, that takes about 30mins. Then, we go to F.Y.E., look around, and buy 3 CDs, another 30mins roundabout. So, it's approximately 5:30 and we're walking to Cinnabon when I FINALLY get a phone call. It's a woman I haven't spoken to yet wanting me to come back to help locate the sale. Once we get there, everything starts going smoothly. There were 3 new ladies behind the counter, two were managers of sorts and the third replaced the original employee, I believe. 

The two managers pull up every sale for that day and start going through them to find the proper one, while the other lady filled me in on the lifetime warranty benefits. They were able to find it and give me the lifetime warranty, all 3 were very efficient, knowledgeable, and understanding. They took the ring, told me they would call in 2 to 3 weeks, and my daughter and I finally went about our merry way a little after 6pm, a full 3 hours after we had arrived.

 I'm anxiously waiting to get it back, it's my engagement ring and I've barely had it! On 01/26, I received a call from a woman from Sears. Her: "Unfortunately, ma'am, you have to come and pick out a new ring, they're unable to fix yours because they no longer have the blue pigment." Me: "I don't see why that should be a problem, it was 2 white diamonds that fell out." Her: "Yes, ma'am, but the diamonds don't come out of the ground that color and they don't have the blue dye anymore." Me: "What does that have to do with the 2 white diamonds?" Her: "They have to re-varnish the whole ring and they don't have the blue pigment, anymore." Me: "Well, why the f*** would you sell someone a lifetime warranty for something that you guys can't fix for the rest of my life, blah blah blah..." She didn't have an answer, just said she could ask them if they could replace only the white ones or I could come pick a whole new ring. I'm too angry to talk, as I don't want to dump on her when it isn't her fault, so I just tell her I will come in to deal with it soon and to have a good day. To top it all off, this bitch hangs up on me, didn't say boo or anything,

 So, my fiancee and I work full schedules and the only day off we have together is Tuesday, 02/02/16. He wants to be there to pick out a new one with me, so we will be returning then. Hopefully, the experience is better this time, as I know I will no longer give Sears, at least that particular location, my business. I've had my ring for a little over  a month and they've had it for over half that time. I will post an update once we go!

I'm Still Alive!

     

Hey everyone, sorry for my absence. A few days turned into a month before I knew it! So, this is just an update post to get back into the groove of things. Dahlia is a little terror now. She's got two teeth in already and two more about to break through. She tears up the house in her walker and has all the animals living in fear. She's also been sleeping through the night for a while and is on a pretty tight schedule. We started her on baby food about a month ago and she's doing really well. Surprisingly, vegetables are her favorite, but she isn't very fond of fruit. I've also noticed that she no longer blindly trusts me. Instead of just opening her mouth for the spoon, she now taste-tests everything on the tip of her tongue before she'll eat it. She likes those little Gerber Graduates puffs, especially. I would say 80% of my day is spent picking those up from the floor.We're getting all geared up for Halloween and I think she's enjoying it (though it's hard to tell in an almost 8 month old). We got her costume the other night, she's going to be a pink bunny. I got bunny ears, as well, so we'll match! We also carved pumpkins. I got a giant one for Ben and me and a tiny one for her. I actually managed to carve the tiny one, too. She seemed to like looking at them all lit up.
      In other news, we recently left her with a friend to babysit for the first time. We went to see ICP and Three 6 Mafia, so we were gone for a few hours. About 2 or 3 hours in, I texted to see if everything was all right. She said Dahlia was being a little fussy. I had figured she would've been asleep by then (like I said, tight schedule), but she was very much awake. Our friend is about eight months pregnant and it was late, so we asked Ben's mom if she would go pick Dahlia up. We get home about two hours later and Dahlia is still awake, fussing. She finally went to sleep a few minutes after we got home, but now her schedule is all messed up. Keeping her awake hasn't seemed to get her back on track, so I'm kind of just hoping she'll just work it out herself. Any moms have advice on this?
    Well, thanks for coming back and (hopefully) forgiving me for my hiatus! I'll try to post somewhat regularly again, you just get into slumps sometimes, ya know?

Motherly Instinct

Motherly instinct is a crazy thing. It's something that you don't truly understand until you've experienced it, and it can be hard to explain. All animals have it, hence the expression, "never get between a mama bear and her cubs." Whenever your child is in the slightest amount of danger, you get this hot, sick, tight ball in the pit of your stomach. Once, when she slipped a little bit in Ben's hands, I almost vomited, I had to sit down. And if anything threatens her, I'll lose it. I have literally punched my cat in the head for hissing at her (he's okay, of course). You don't think clearly, you just react. My mom said that now that I'm older, the instinct isn't as strong for her. But, since Dahlia is only six months, it's still very strong. I think I would probably rip someone's face off for her. It can be a scary feeling and a sick feeling, but completely natural. What are your experiences with the motherly instinct? Men, have you experienced anything similar? Leave your responses in the comments below!

13 Adult Jokes Hidden in Kid Shows

Cartoon makers will sometimes slip dirty jokes into kid shows so that parents watching aren't completely bored. Here are thirteen examples of such, some in older shows, some in new, and one from a movie. I tried not too include too many that were the same shows, but it happens.

Number 13 - The Powerpuff Girls

"It's okay, Professor. I was an accident, too."














Number 12 - Spongebob Squarepants

Spongebob just got caught watching sea-porn.

"I was just looking for the sports channel, Gary!"  


































Number 11 - Rocko's Modern Life

The sign says: Remember Be hot Be naughty Be courteous

In a show riddled with sexual innuendo and dirty jokes that kids never get, this scene ranks up there with the dirtiest of the dirty. Rocko becomes a sex phone operator.


































Number 10 - Rugrats

This is definitely a circumcision joke.



















Number 9 - Rugrats, again

Grandpa watches freaky space porn when the kids go to bed.























Number 8 - Freakazoid

Grammatical errors aside, that's a penis joke.



















Number 7 - Animaniacs

Is it just me, or does Prince look disappointed?

Number 6 - Ed, Edd n Eddy

They are definitely looking at porn surrounded by used tissues.

















Number 5 - Robots

"Making the baby's the fun part."




















Number 4 - Dexter's Laboratory 

"Okay, but it's 50 bucks extra." Dexter hires a prostitute to pretend to be his sister. Kind of dirty on two levels, now that I think about it...





















Number 3 - Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

In this episode, they're speaking of displaying a literal bust (a statue of someone from the shoulders up) when Bloo says this.














Number 2 - Johnny Bravo

"This is so much fun! I can't remember the last time I was blindfolded... Oh. Wait...yes I do." This show had it's fair share of sexual innuendos, but here's a memorable one hinting at BDSM.





















Number 1 - Regular Show

I'd look like that, too, if I had just drank unicorn ejaculate.

Another one rife with adult jokes, this one was particularly gross. In this episode, there's a bunch of mischevious unicorns, one dressed like Alex from A Clockwork Orange. First, they tell Mordecai their "slobber" is magical and can help him attract the attention of his crush. You never see them spit into anything, but they hand him a cup of sparkly "slobber" and tell him to drink it. Honestly, it doesn't even really sound like he's saying slobber, that's just the closest approximation. Anyway, after they get him to drink it, they have him slick back his hair with it, There's Something About Mary - style, giggling and laughing throughout the whole thing.

If Fairy Tales Were Real (and Modern)

Fairy tales are great for kids. They can teach them lessons about life and they can be entertaining. But, at the same time, they're very unrealistic. While I wouldn't suggest reading these to your kids, they might ring a little more true to you.


Sleeping Beauty
Once upon a time there was a woman that fell into a very deep sleep and forgot to lock her doors. A man was walking by and saw her, so he decided to try and wake her. He climbed in through her window and began kissing her. The woman woke up screaming and the next thing he knew, the police were yelling at him to get down on the ground. He was charged with breaking and entering and attempted rape. The end.

Snow White
Once upon a time there was a beautiful woman that lived next door to a very ugly woman. The ugly woman was very jealous of the beautiful woman and was constantly thinking of ways for vengeance. One day, she baked a cake with cyanide and gave it to the beautiful woman. The beautiful woman ate it and died. When the autopsy was performed, they discovered the cyanide and arrested the ugly woman, who spent the rest of her life in jail. The end.

Cinderella
Once upon a time, there lived a girl, her three step-sisters, and her step-mother. One day, the coolest boy in school was hosting a party and all four girls were dying to go. The step-mother allowed the three sisters to go, but told Cinderella she had to stay home and clean. So, the three step-sisters went to the party and Cinderella sat on her bed and cried all night. The end.

Peter Pan
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Wendy asleep in her bedroom. She was woken by a tap on her window. She looked out to see a dirty, crazed looking man gesturing to her to come outside. She began screaming and her parents came running in. Seeing the man, they called the police. The police came and arrested the man, determining he was a pedophile on crack. The end.

Beauty and the Beast
Once upon a time, there was a man that would be considered a social outcast. He didn't have any friends and he never went outside. One day, he saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. So, he decided to kidnap her. And she was never heard from again. The end.

Alice in Wonderland
Once upon a time, a girl took acid. It was a really long and really bad trip. The end.

Little Red Riding Hood
Once upon a time, a girl was walking through the woods to get to her grandmother's house. A mountain lion began tracking her, following her all the way to her grandmother's house. Waiting until the little girl and her grandmother were comfortable, the mountain lion jumped through the window and ate both of them. The end.

The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf
Once upon a time, there was a little boy playing outside. He was pretty bored, so he decided to yell to everyone a wolf was trying to eat him. All the people within earshot came running, his mother included. When the people got there, the little boy told them the wolf had ran away. Everyone left, grumbling. The little boy did it again, only this time, when he told them the wolf ran away, his mother snatched him up and started spanking him. Then, she told him he was grounded and to go to his room. The end.

5 Creepiest Kid Shows Ever

A lot of shows for children will try to sneak in some jokes for parents to make it tolerable. But, sometimes kids shows are just plain creepy. Here's a list of the five creepiest kid's shows I could find.


Number 5 - Jay Jay the Jet Plane 

Originally airing in 1998, the series was re-released in 2001 and 2005. It features anthropomorphic planes, the main character being Jay Jay. There's just something unsettling about a plane that is self-aware allowing a bunch of humans to board it.



Number 4 -  Lazy Town

I've actually watched this one a few times, and I have to say, it seems like it's more for adults. It began airing in 2004 until around 2012, with a hiatus. It has strong pedophilic overtones; the main character is a young girl (that might be a short adult in real life) named Stephanie that tries to help the citizens of Lazy Town get in shape. The hero is a much older man named Sportacus, that does sports stuff. The villain is another much older man named Robbie Rotten, who does various things to try to spoil Stephanie and Sportacus's plans, but in the creepiest ways possible.





Number 3 - Oobi

Airing from 2004-2007, this is about a family of hands with eyes and hair, the titular character being Oobi, an elementary school hand. The hands speak like cavemen, saying as few words as possible. The way they talk combined with the way they look makes them seem like some sort of giant mutant hand race.





Number 2 - The High Fructose Adventures of Annoying Orange

This is based off of an internet series, so straight off you know it's going to be weird. Nothing normal ever came out of the internet. It aired from 2012 to 2014 and is about a bunch of fruit living in a supermarket. There's one human that can talk to them, but everyone dismisses him as crazy. That part of the concept alone is some dark stuff for a kid's show, but it gets weirder. The fruit face such adversaries as: alien broccoli, zombie vegetables, and an every-now-and-then antagonistic grapefruit. All while that poor human watches in stunned silence.

Number 1 - Boohbah

A British show originally airing from 2003 to 2005, this seems to be kind of similar to Teletubbies, but creepier. First off, the boobah's head/neck area looks like foreskin. They're all different colors and they dance around and say "boobah"and there are bright lights and stuff. But, they're creepy looking and creepy sounding. They also have dolls that look like them in stores.

Lazy Post - Mom Jeans on Other Sites!

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