Motherly Instinct

Motherly instinct is a crazy thing. It's something that you don't truly understand until you've experienced it, and it can be hard to explain. All animals have it, hence the expression, "never get between a mama bear and her cubs." Whenever your child is in the slightest amount of danger, you get this hot, sick, tight ball in the pit of your stomach. Once, when she slipped a little bit in Ben's hands, I almost vomited, I had to sit down. And if anything threatens her, I'll lose it. I have literally punched my cat in the head for hissing at her (he's okay, of course). You don't think clearly, you just react. My mom said that now that I'm older, the instinct isn't as strong for her. But, since Dahlia is only six months, it's still very strong. I think I would probably rip someone's face off for her. It can be a scary feeling and a sick feeling, but completely natural. What are your experiences with the motherly instinct? Men, have you experienced anything similar? Leave your responses in the comments below!

13 Adult Jokes Hidden in Kid Shows

Cartoon makers will sometimes slip dirty jokes into kid shows so that parents watching aren't completely bored. Here are thirteen examples of such, some in older shows, some in new, and one from a movie. I tried not too include too many that were the same shows, but it happens.

Number 13 - The Powerpuff Girls

"It's okay, Professor. I was an accident, too."














Number 12 - Spongebob Squarepants

Spongebob just got caught watching sea-porn.

"I was just looking for the sports channel, Gary!"  


































Number 11 - Rocko's Modern Life

The sign says: Remember Be hot Be naughty Be courteous

In a show riddled with sexual innuendo and dirty jokes that kids never get, this scene ranks up there with the dirtiest of the dirty. Rocko becomes a sex phone operator.


































Number 10 - Rugrats

This is definitely a circumcision joke.



















Number 9 - Rugrats, again

Grandpa watches freaky space porn when the kids go to bed.























Number 8 - Freakazoid

Grammatical errors aside, that's a penis joke.



















Number 7 - Animaniacs

Is it just me, or does Prince look disappointed?

Number 6 - Ed, Edd n Eddy

They are definitely looking at porn surrounded by used tissues.

















Number 5 - Robots

"Making the baby's the fun part."




















Number 4 - Dexter's Laboratory 

"Okay, but it's 50 bucks extra." Dexter hires a prostitute to pretend to be his sister. Kind of dirty on two levels, now that I think about it...





















Number 3 - Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

In this episode, they're speaking of displaying a literal bust (a statue of someone from the shoulders up) when Bloo says this.














Number 2 - Johnny Bravo

"This is so much fun! I can't remember the last time I was blindfolded... Oh. Wait...yes I do." This show had it's fair share of sexual innuendos, but here's a memorable one hinting at BDSM.





















Number 1 - Regular Show

I'd look like that, too, if I had just drank unicorn ejaculate.

Another one rife with adult jokes, this one was particularly gross. In this episode, there's a bunch of mischevious unicorns, one dressed like Alex from A Clockwork Orange. First, they tell Mordecai their "slobber" is magical and can help him attract the attention of his crush. You never see them spit into anything, but they hand him a cup of sparkly "slobber" and tell him to drink it. Honestly, it doesn't even really sound like he's saying slobber, that's just the closest approximation. Anyway, after they get him to drink it, they have him slick back his hair with it, There's Something About Mary - style, giggling and laughing throughout the whole thing.

If Fairy Tales Were Real (and Modern)

Fairy tales are great for kids. They can teach them lessons about life and they can be entertaining. But, at the same time, they're very unrealistic. While I wouldn't suggest reading these to your kids, they might ring a little more true to you.


Sleeping Beauty
Once upon a time there was a woman that fell into a very deep sleep and forgot to lock her doors. A man was walking by and saw her, so he decided to try and wake her. He climbed in through her window and began kissing her. The woman woke up screaming and the next thing he knew, the police were yelling at him to get down on the ground. He was charged with breaking and entering and attempted rape. The end.

Snow White
Once upon a time there was a beautiful woman that lived next door to a very ugly woman. The ugly woman was very jealous of the beautiful woman and was constantly thinking of ways for vengeance. One day, she baked a cake with cyanide and gave it to the beautiful woman. The beautiful woman ate it and died. When the autopsy was performed, they discovered the cyanide and arrested the ugly woman, who spent the rest of her life in jail. The end.

Cinderella
Once upon a time, there lived a girl, her three step-sisters, and her step-mother. One day, the coolest boy in school was hosting a party and all four girls were dying to go. The step-mother allowed the three sisters to go, but told Cinderella she had to stay home and clean. So, the three step-sisters went to the party and Cinderella sat on her bed and cried all night. The end.

Peter Pan
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Wendy asleep in her bedroom. She was woken by a tap on her window. She looked out to see a dirty, crazed looking man gesturing to her to come outside. She began screaming and her parents came running in. Seeing the man, they called the police. The police came and arrested the man, determining he was a pedophile on crack. The end.

Beauty and the Beast
Once upon a time, there was a man that would be considered a social outcast. He didn't have any friends and he never went outside. One day, he saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. So, he decided to kidnap her. And she was never heard from again. The end.

Alice in Wonderland
Once upon a time, a girl took acid. It was a really long and really bad trip. The end.

Little Red Riding Hood
Once upon a time, a girl was walking through the woods to get to her grandmother's house. A mountain lion began tracking her, following her all the way to her grandmother's house. Waiting until the little girl and her grandmother were comfortable, the mountain lion jumped through the window and ate both of them. The end.

The Little Boy Who Cried Wolf
Once upon a time, there was a little boy playing outside. He was pretty bored, so he decided to yell to everyone a wolf was trying to eat him. All the people within earshot came running, his mother included. When the people got there, the little boy told them the wolf had ran away. Everyone left, grumbling. The little boy did it again, only this time, when he told them the wolf ran away, his mother snatched him up and started spanking him. Then, she told him he was grounded and to go to his room. The end.