10 Terrible Things About Pregnancy

I thought I would continue on in the same vein for now with another list. Each pregnancy is different, some are great and some are awful. I wasn't one of the lucky ones that glowed with the beauty of pregnancy. I was pissy, bloated, and felt ugly most of the time. So, here's a list of the ten worst things I experienced during pregnancy.

Number 10 - Morning Sickness

My morning sickness wasn't morning sickness, it was all day sickness. From the moment my feet hit the floor, I was nauseous. In case anyone that hasn't been "blessed" by a pregnancy is wondering, that is a horrible way to start the day. I think the only thing that was worse than the constant nausea and vomiting was people giving you all sorts of "solutions." Everyone seems to have their own home remedy for morning sickness and no one is afraid to share it with you. While that doesn't seem so bad, it gets tiresome telling people that you've already tried it or some variation thereof. In the end, you just have to grin and bear it.


Number 9 - Bloating/General Fatness

There is nothing more depressing than trying to slide on your favorite pair of jeans, only to realize you're officially forced into your first pair of mom jeans. The type with the elastic band in the belly. I waddled around feeling like a manatee. If you saw me, you could bet that my jeans weren't buttoned. None of your shirts will fit, either. Say goodbye to that concert t-shirt you got when you were 17, you'll likely never wear it again.





Number 8 - Cravings

Granted, sometimes the cravings are nice, because no one can or will deny you food. But, just my luck, I happened to crave something unattainable. My biggest craving was Fazoli's. If you're unfamiliar with Fazoli's, it's a kinda-sorta Italian fast food joint. Unfortunately, there are no longer any Fazoli's located in the Central Florida area. The closest one is in Valdosta, Georgia. If it was up to me, I would've driven to Georgia to get me some damn Fazoli's, but having car problems, I was stuck. Having an unsatisfied pregnancy craving is possibly comparable to light torture. Until you satisfy that craving, it's pretty much all you can think about.


Number 7 - Doctor's Appointments

In the first few months of my pregnancy, I was considered high risk. I was originally having twins and that places you in the high risk category. Because of that, I had to go to the doctor every two weeks instead of the normal every three. It can be very frustrating to have someone look at your vagina that often. I felt like the doctor could've at least bought me dinner first. And you're actually paying this person to make you uncomfortable.





Number 6 - People Touching You

Now, this only happened to me a few times. Apparently, I'm intimidating and not a lot of people have the guts to do this, but I've heard from other women that they're constantly getting touched. People, for some reason, think it's okay to touch your belly. If you're like me, this is horrible. Random people touching you is akin to running backwards through a cornfield naked. People, keep your hands to yourself.





Number 5 - Swelling/Numbing

Your hands and your feet swell. Your socks are all of a sudden leaving dents in your ankles. Your rings don't fit anymore. In my case, during the third trimester, my hands were constantly numb, which is very uncomfortable.




Number 4 - Worry

You're constantly worrying that what you're doing is affecting the baby. If you pick something up, you wonder if it was too heavy. You wonder if the greasy pizza you had is going to make the baby fat. Is that Advil you took going to affect the baby? This will keep you up all night.






Number 3 - No Drinking

I had just turned 21 when I got pregnant. I had just enough time to get a favorite liquor, then no more drinking. It was way worse when someone would drink around you, especially margaritas, my favorite. Talk about having fantasies of throwing a drink in someone's face!




Number 2 - Heartburn
Oh. My. God. Heartburn. I had it all day, every day. I carried one of the big bottles of Tums around with me everywhere. Once, I had it so bad that I couldn't stop groaning and crying, but I didn't have any Tums. Ben went to the 7-11 at 2AM and came home with every brand of heartburn medicine the store sold.
The old wive's tale is true, though. Dahlia had a full head of hair when she was born.




Number 1 - Giving Birth

Of course, giving birth is the worst thing about pregnancy. Other than the obvious, pain, it's the anticipation that kills you. Around my eighth month, I became determined to be done with it. I was so miserable, I would've tried just about anything to get her out. I walked and walked and walked to no avail. I jumped up and down, nothing. I tried to bribe the neighbor into letting me use their trampoline, but they refused. Finally, my mom convinced me to get a yoga ball. I bounced on that damn yoga ball for like a week, then it finally happened when I wasn't even trying. I was sitting on my mom's bed, I stood up, and my water broke (ruining one of the only pairs of jeans that fits me). After all the boring parts, once full blown labor started, I really don't remember much. I remember the awful pain. I remember screaming and cussing. I remember apologizing for being such a bitch and then screaming and cussing more. And I remember wishing I was dead. But, I wouldn't undo it for anything in the world.